Good food, good times and most of all.. Good Friends!!!

Where did the last 4 and a half months disappear to?

While it was happening, the hours seemed to drag on forever
& even though there were lotsa good times,
there were also many times when I was bored witless.
Who would have thought that *blink blink*
& it's over.

No more trudging up that unreasonably steep hill to attend class,
no more midnight strolls to the harbour to enjoy the night lights, sea breeze, peace & quiet,
no more reliving childhood days on the slides & swings,
no more sleepovers & cook-overs
& enjoying movies together, all squeezed onto the two mattresses,
no more msn chats about how boring Wellington is,
no more banana-fuelled runs along the bay,
no more weekly visits to Blue Note to watch Elvin play
& the walks back after
no more visits to and from apartment 57,
no more watching everyone drink themselves into a stupor,
no more seeing each other every other day.
No more.

I wish I could say that these past few months I really challenged myself,
stepped outside my comfort zone
& did things that were radically different
but while I did do some things that I normally don't,
particularly one thing I did that was royally stupid
that changed things in ways I wish it didn't,
the freedom & independence that come with living away from home
isn't something new to me &
life in New Zealand was too cushy, carefree & laidback
to be considered a challenge.
It was more like an extended holiday
where I had to flip through textbooks, read slides
& perhaps type a word or two once in a while.

That's not to say that the past few months were a total waste of time
& that I didn't learn anything at all in school and out of it.
I did my assignments, attended class (most of them.. hehe..) & studied for my tests and exams, so I did learn something in school.
However, I would say that most of what I derived from the experience
I learned outside the lecture hall.

It's been all about self-discovery for me.
I would say that I know more about myself,
that I’m just that little bit clearer about what I wanna do with my life.
But probably the most important thing I learned
is that I have not really lived,
that there are so many things to be done that I have not done
that I have squandered away most of my youth without doing enough stupid things
that I'm so afraid of making mistakes
that I have ended up doing nothing.
Perhaps I am not equipped to do these things
but I may never be ready
& if I don't do them now,
I never will.
Maybe it's come at a high price,
this realization,
but if it means that I've attained that motivation to do all those things
that I have talked about doing but somehow never have,
then it has been worthwhile.

One thing which I am extremely grateful for and blessed with are the friends whom I have made in New Zealand, especially my "family" (borrowing Joanne’s words) in New Zealand: Joyce, Jessie, Joanne, Dominique, Elvin, Eunice, Jim, CK, Joyce & Lotion.
Love you guys! *Big Hugs and Kisses!!*
I figure we'll all be busy and stuff when we return to our 'real' lives,
in addition to the fact that we'll be separated by land and seas
but I sincerely hope that we find the time to meet up once in a while
if not as often as we would like to.
Take care my friends! Miss you guys already!

I returned home yesterday & it seems like I never left.
It's feels kinda surreal,
like perhaps the past four months were just a figment of my imagination,

A dream I wish I didn’t have to wake up from.